Writing is its own reward. - Henry Miller

Whether our dreams are small or large they're important to us. For some their dream is to shake their world and beyond by a passion they feel burning inside, which drives them. For others their dreams seem to fade into the sunset as they've allowed "other" of life's duties to steal away the deep colors of their dreams. 

Dreaming large about our life or what we want to accomplish is part of who we are and who we become. God created mankind with the quality to create, think, feel, be compassionate, and passionate and to have aspirations. Our goals can be simple or intricate.

What happens, though, when we think those dreams have vanished? Or when it seems like the dreams of others take flight effortlessly while ours stay grounded until God knows when.

During those times when our dreams seem grounded, disappointment sets in. We might feel we heard God wrong, or that we're chasing after a wild idea—how stupid to think we could—

Or perhaps we'll question why God gave us these ideas or passions without knowing exactly what to do with them?

This happened to me when I first felt the call to write. My first project was a Bible study in 1989 on Sexual Purity, and I was extremely passionate about it. Even paid good money to have it edited. I knew very little about the publishing world, yet I knew this thing burned deep inside me. The study flowed from pen to paper like a gushing waterfall. It amazed me.

There were several groups in my area that used the material, and a few even out of the area. I sought publisher after publisher, with good feed back but at that time, there were very few if any publishing houses doing Bible studies for teens on this subject.

I was frustrated with God. Felt he gave me a big dream only to dash it upon the rocks. Let's just say I was mad at him and felt he allowed me to miss the boat. And by the way, how could he "let" me miss the boat? I felt like somewhere along the path a door opened that I didn't see, then slammed shut because I was spiritual blind or deaf.

I felt overwhelmed trying to figure out God's purpose. What twisted faith that was.

When I attended a conference for CareNet pregnancy center directors, back in the early nineties, Pastor Jack Hayford spoke at our main assemblies. You see, this meant all the more to me as he had written a forward for my Bible study. The title of his message was "The Deal is Still On." I knew this was God's message to me as he continued to share . . . my heart sat eager to hear every word. Certainly now I was going to hear what God wanted me to do.

Pastor Jack based his message on Genesis chapters 12 through15. The story he captured for us was when God told Abram, "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing," (Genesis 12:2). And "To your offspring" I will give you this land." Of course, up to this point Abram and his wife were childless.

Abram according to the Word was fearful and perhaps wondering what God had said to him previously about being a "great nation" and giving his "offspring" the land how could this be when he has not had an heir yet? God speaks to Abram in a vision. "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward," (Genesis 15:1).

When our dreams become less then what we want or appear as if they will never happen . . . we become fearful, doubtful, impatient, hopeless, or just plain grumblers. As in Abrams case who moaned about the servant of his household who would become the inheritor of his estate, as Abram was still childless.

Is this not like us to forget what God tells us or shows us?

I love this part where our Father invites Abram outside and says, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them," then he said, "So shall your offspring be," (Genesis 15:5).  Wow . . . don't we long for God to write it on the sky for us, point to it and say see? I wonder if we become so consumed by our "big dream" we forget:

• The promise Giver
• The process to our dream is as important as the fulfillment of our dream
• The struggles and stumbles to fulfilling our dreams provide many lessons for us

The encouraging message to Abram in which God was not only saying to him the deal is still on but remember Abram if nothing ever happens, I, God, am your "shield and reward."

By taking Abram outside, God reaffirmed His Greatness to him . . . look at the stars, count them, if you can.

God knowing there was no way in heaven that Abram could begin to count the stars. God is implying—I'm infinity . . . the depth of "My" creation is beyond your comprehension and ability to measure and so are "My" promises, which are true. I will accomplish them. That's why in the next verse God made a covenant with him, to assure Abram the deal was steal on!

Find encouragement in belonging to the Almighty God of creation. The one who needs not count the stars because HE is thee One who placed them there, and is thee One who called each star by name (Psalms 147:4NIV). I know I need too.

Whether our dream becomes bigger than life or it does not, we must remember God always has a plan for us.

Four things I learned through my dashed dream:

1. If one person was touched through my Bible study then its purpose was served, for the significance of touching one has great value.
2. A writer cannot write without learning something about who they are. I felt the Spirit of God reach deep in my soul and tug the roughage to the surface . . . and what for? Healing, of course.
3. I've learned that dashed dreams are stepping-stones to the next passionate project or promise God may give me or I think of and give to God.
4. Each step taught me something new about me, about my faith, about God's character, about the craft of writing. Each step continues to take me father away from fear and doubt, that is if I continue to move forward.

My Sexual Purity Bible study is tucked deep in the recesses of my file cabinet and there it remains. That is common for many writers. The first novel or non-fiction book no one will ever see.

There came a point I had to let the study die, not give up but let it die. If God so desires to resurrect it, then the passion to pursue its purpose will once again drive me; however, I will not give up my dream to write, to be a published author—making a difference with the written word, just because my first passionate dream went only so far.

Like Abram, who after taking a moonlit walk with God to count stars, believed and the LORD, "credited it to him as righteousness." I too will believe. Believe in my dreams, whatever they come to be, and a God who can do immeasurable more then I can imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

I will trust that it is not the end result that counts. It is "knowing" (meaning an intimate relationship with) the God of all creation. Pastor Jack Hayford spoke to us that evening what he considered an encouragement from the Lord, "What I've given your hand to do, I will restore the deal I've made with you." Therefore look up and look ahead the deal is still on. God's gifts and talents are not irrevocable.

Never give up on your dreams and remember the God who put the stars in place and calls them each by name is the One who put the dream in our soul—move forward in faith, I am.

Ludwig van Beethoven said, "Don't only practice your art; but force your way into its secrets for it and knowledge can rise men to the Divine."

 This quote intrigues me. The power of knowing one's artist flare can "rise men" to the realm of "the Divine" or bring an individual to a place where they might touch the aesthetics of life, to me is significant, and should be the purpose of any artist—besides just the innate desire to create.

 You may know that Beethoven developed deafness at the age of 26 and could no longer hear the piano as he performed. He retired himself to composing symphonies and concertos, which he heard, I read, constantly in his head—he and his music where one in mind and soul.

To hear the marked notes on his manuscript he put his ear against the wood of the piano to hear the musical vibrations. He wrote most of his famous pieces around this period. Defiantly he needed to "force" himself to reach beyond his growing deafness and trust the secrets he already knew concerning the passion of music that lived relentlessly within him until the notes spilled onto the manuscript.

 I'm not sure if all artists reach such levels of intensity, maybe composers like Ludwig Beethoven, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and writers like Ernest Hemmingway, Leo Tolstoy, Anne Frank, and Mark Twain were a league of their own. It seems the characteristics of the music, poetry, or the novel became part of their waking moments—the thing consuming them, or perhaps the surroundings consuming them.

Like the endless universe are the mysteries of a man's soul and its potential. I'm sure it's the soul where Beethoven heard his concertos and symphonies.

 When I watch a musician play, I love to watch their facial expressions—it speaks volumes of where their music is coming from.

 While writers do not perform their craft before large audiences they still have to lean into the secret of the craft of writing, and become passionate about what they are writing so that the pages will burst with vibrancy, coming alive for the reader. Anything less is just "practice."

 The writer should feel the need to write like the need to eat, especially when one hears the voices of her characters and feels a story, which is burning to be told. Writers write because they have something that needs to be said. As Ernest Hemingway put it, "The writer must write what he has to say, not speak it."

 My art is writing and my desire is to learn to feel the soul of the words, which I am crafting into a sentence then into a story to bring about an emotional connection; whether it's a children's story, short story, or article; therefore, if I've not captured the secret of the work, its soul, then I'm not deserving to write the words.

 I submit that "forcing" our way into the "secrets" of our craft is to dismantle what we think we know and learn to write by "soul" . . . like learning to play an instrument by ear, allowing the words to flow freely, to give permission for the story to come alive in us. A spotlight illuminating the unknown of our passion, where we can move without hesitation, without the fear of rejection. Then we can take that knowledge and shape it into a worthy book to be read.

 When I reach that place where my creativity is animated, graceful, and coming from the depth of places I didn't know existed in me that will have been exhausting to say the least. Then and only then, I believe I will have the sense of joining with someone greater then my self as I've fashioned something out of those secret places in me while learning the craft of writing not just the practice of writing.

I'm certain that words can sing like music . . . one of the first major writer conferences I attended, Jack Cavanaugh, a novelist said," Make your writing sing." I think that is what Beethoven was saying as well. " . . . But force your way into its secrets . . . " make what you're doing . . . sing. The mystery of not only practicing one's artist talent but giving all of your self to the art in which your soul resonates along with your creation as if you were in harmony for a snippet of time, which not only touches your heart but "can rise men to the Divine," or touch the deepness and magnificence of life somewhere deep in the soul of another by what you do.  That's what I want to do, how about you?

I am experimenting with Smashwords, a company in which you can publish and sell your novels, non-fiction books, or articles. I decided to take an article of mine, which was published several years ago in an on-line E-zine, and expand it to incorporate these issues:

What to say to those who have lost a baby

How to respond to the family when suicide is involved 

Click the box at the UPPER LEFT and it will take you right to my article for your free download.